1. She loves animals and uses gentle hands. Winnie is too quick so they do not get to play that often but you can tell she loves her. Any time we see a kitty or a puppy she gets excited and starts to wave yellow and wants to pet them.
2. Her open mouth, wet kisses melt my heart. She gives them freely to all her baby dolls but I have to ask for mine and thats ok, they're worth it.
3. Loves grapes, but now she peels off the skin and gives that to anyone who will take them. The grape juice has made everything sticky but watching her be that happy is worth all the wipes.
4. Thank you Claire for enjoying bed time, even though you are waking up often during the night you have gotten really good and just putting yourself to bed, its adorable.
5. At almost 14 months she has not shown any interest in slowing down on breastfeeding, she makes me feel so needed and the fact that this helps keep her healthy is great.
6. Prefers to eat on the run, a few bites here and there. Sitting down for a meal usually ends up with a few bites and then a huge mess but we keep trying.
7. Claire talks all day long, I can't wait [ok I can its already going so fast] to know what she is trying to tell us.
8. If I hide chicken into her bites of food she will eat everything but pull out the chicken piece, she does not like it.
9. Eye ball poking is her new way of saying hello to babies and other children, we are woking on it.
10. On weekend mornings, we have a new tradition where I bring out a big comforter and lay down in it while she plays and then naps with me from 5:30am - 7am. This past week I woke up to her trying to shave my face with my razor [with the safety shield on it] she was so proud of herself when I woke up.

This little lady of mine, she is the best.

Congratulations to Ryan & Ynes Vance! Their beautiful baby girl came a little over a month early and she is perfect in every way!

Ynes & I have just recently become friends but I am so excited for her and her growing family!

I almost typed, "enjoy ever second, it goes by so fast" but I am sure you will hear that a lot hah

Ryan says, "the minutes go slow but the days go fast"

all the best 

xoxo

Nikol

Great job mama, you did something amazing!

Good morning, happy Sunday!!

I have seen a few bloggers do little posts like this and I thought it sounded fun :)

This Sunday has been a very relaxed one and we are thankful for that. Claire is teething so sleep has been touch and go, a friend let us borrow her amber necklace and I am hoping that really helps soon because sleep is very needed and I don't want her to be in such pain. 
Claire was up for the day at 5:30am so I laid out a comforter on the living room floor with her toys and a pillow and I was able to snooze while Claire played for a few minutes and then went back to sleep while cuddling with me. It was pretty much the nicest morning I have had in awhile. We slept, rolled around, and then shared some oatmeal and greek yogurt for breakfast before we woke up Ryan and I went off to Pop Physique. Teresa [my girlfriend] started a #workitout100 hashtag a few days and we are doing a workout every day for 100 days which will take us until New Years day, so far so good. It has been nice to make sure I get in a workout no matter how small, right now training with Lora and Pop has been how I am getting them in. It was a great workout followed by a coffee date. Now I am home, showered and blogging while both my loves, Claire & Ryan nap away.

What I put on today: I never realized how much stuff I have accumulated since having a baby, since having Claire I now have super dry hair, contact dermatitis, loose belly skin, sensitive skin on my face and dry skin. shah all the things pregnancy/breastfeeding can do to you. These six items are now a part of my [almost] every day routine. I love them all and highly recommend them if you are experiencing any of these same problems. The Locoid is a prescription but it has been a lifesaver, from the trash and the breastfeeding for almost 14 months both of my breasts have developed contact dermatitis, they suggested weaning Claire but I am not ready for that so this has really helped keep it in check. If you have any kind of rash that won't go away, you should totally chat with your deem about this.

Tell me about your Sunday :)
What do you have planned?

For now, naps and lunch are all that I have on the agenda [ok, I lied I also need to vacuum]

happy weekend
xo
Nikol

I am so happy that I was included in the Wet Set Gazette Breastfeeding Issue. 

I have found a community that I feel so in touch with and it has been so supportive and loving. I only hope I can do the same for people that need it. 

Breastfeeding has taught me so much about myself and I can't wait to learn more.

I will also have a few more blurbs in the next edition, so excited!

A Letter To My Breasts - if you wanted to read it 

Once we got home we received our medical bill for Claire and her hospital stay - I wanted to send a huge "thank you" to everyone who donated money to help us out with her bills. You have lifted such a burden, we feel very blessed to have people like you in our lives. You didn't have to do that and you were so kind when you did. Claire has her final check up this week and if all goes well we should be in the clear! I will keep you all updated.

thank you, we will pay it forward !

all our love
Nikol, Ryan & Claire

About a month ago Ryan gave me a call and said WE ARE GOING TO HAWAII! I was so excited and then nervous, it would be a work trip for Ryan and they were inviting a guest, but could Claire join? I wasn't sure if I would be ready to leave Claire for an entire week and the thought of her missing out on a beautiful family trip like this broke my heart. Thankfully, Toyota said yes and the three of us were starting to prep for a week away from real life.

It was beautiful, plus the three Toyotas Ryan got to drive we amazing - 2015 Sienna, Camry & Yaris - Ryan will post his reviews soon but from what I saw and heard, they were fabulous and of course driving around the Big Island you can't go wrong.

The three of us rolled in the sand, ate amazing food and lounged by the pool. Watching Claire see Hawaii for the first time made me cry, numerous times. The Fairmont Orchid resort was breathtaking and at every turn there was something amazing for us to do together. I honestly have to say that I have never been so amazed by a hotel. I have been wanting to go somewhere tropical for a few years and this hit the spot.

Melissa was able to join us for a few days and that was also a treat. Claire loves spending time with her aunties and having her there was wonderful especially since we weren't going to see her again until the holidays.

I am so thankful for this trip and for my family, I can't wait for our next adventure!
xo
Nikol

Congratulations to Nicole & John! They're amazing baby girl arrived and Nicole is sharing her birth story, its amazing what our bodies can do.

So happy for them!

Today I have the help of my mother & my husband John so I have more energy to type out a birth story of my Gabriella, we call her Ella :)
In January I was ecstatic to find out we were expecting a baby and I was so excited about becoming a parent however I did not have an easy pregnancy. I might have shared this with a few of you during class. I really do not like to complain and thankfully it was all very small fixable and precautionary type issues - I am blessed everything worked out, and it was all very worth it. It sounds like a lot, so here is some background: I had fibroid removal surgery last year, my fibroids were large and inside & outside of my uterus so there was a possibility I wouldn’t be able to carry but my OB did a fantastic job and I was cleared to have normal vaginal birth when the time came. Calculating my due date was tricky for my OB as my menstruation cycle is irregular, the due date was changed twice. Eventually it was determined as 9/24. I also have hyperthyroid so I went to lab every week for blood work to check my levels. I had horrible morning sickness, Hyperemesis Gravidarum is a horrible thing to experience, I tried every remedy but still lost 16lbs. I couldn’t hold down water so I received IV fluids and was put on a prescription that just barely took the sickness away, I felt better around 20 weeks. I had to take the Glucose test multiple times because by sugar was high, and I also did the 48 hour urine collection at home to test my protein, not so fun lol. I developed chronic hypertension putting me at risk for preeclampsia and I worried about the affect high blood pressure had on my baby's growth. Lastly I was born with a heart defect called ASD - atrial septum defect, a whole the size of a quarter in the upper chamber of my heart. It was fixed at age 3 and I am 100% healthy now. I did not know it was hereditary. So I was referred to a USC Perinatologist. We saw him every 2 weeks, Ella's heart was checked for all the major defects, she was cleared and he still watched her growth very closely.

My 37week appointment with USC specialist was 9/3 and my husband and I liked to go because we got to see Ella in 4D ultrasound often and watched her change and grow. The appt before it was implied that a C-section was necessary b/c she was still breach but we'd wait and see closer to due date to officially change the birth plan (I wanted an epidural filled vaginal birth). On 9/3 The tech took her usual measurements and when the Doctor came in he wasn’t his normal jovial self. He was quiet, direct and uncharacteristically serious. He looked me straight in the eyes and spoke slowly with "Nicole, the baby hasn’t grown since the last time you were here (2 weeks ago), I am afraid her growth is in jeopardy." He further explained an issue with my placenta & the umbilical cord not providing enough nutrients to her and told me it was better to have Ella out of the womb. I tried to listen but I felt numb. I asked that we wait another couple of weeks because I was worried she wasn’t ready and he patiently but very sternly said "Nicole, you need to go to the hospital right now. I am calling your OB immediately." He went to his office to make the call and I heard their conversation - my OB agreed an emergency C-section needed to happen asap. I cried and my husband thankfully stayed strong & calm. We took his report, drove home, packed our bags and went straight to the hospital. My OB called us on the drive back to SCV and explained the procedure. I arrived at Labor and Delivery and the kind nurses said "Hello Mrs. Leon you are very popular today, we have been waiting for you, Welcome!" John & I walked to our room and saw a familiar face from Labor of Love class (Shiva's husband who wished us well) 45 minutes later I was in the Operation Room getting IV spinal meds- it worked immediately but made me shiver with the shakes, it was cold and I was also extremely nervous. My nurse Paula prayed with me to calm me down and told me "You just get to meet your daughter a little earlier, what a happy happy day it is!" that really helped me.

I was super nervous because C-section was my very last resort plan for delivery. But it wasn’t bad, it wasn’t bad at all! In fact my surgery a year ago was 10x more painful. They called the NICU team just in case because although I was considered full term Ella was being born 3 weeks earlier and measured on the small side. The Operation Room had loud techno music blasting and my OB said "Welcome to the party, the BIRTHDAY PARTY!!" The procedure was probably an hour but it felt like 20 mins. I felt pressure and a big tug, heard a small baby cry, the nurses awww'd and saw my husband crying. The doctor joked "It’s a BOY" and John told him it wasn’t funny (lol). Gabriella Sophia Leon was born Sept 3rd at 9:33pm; she weighed 4lbs and 14oz, 18inches long. Off to the side I saw the NICU team clean her up. John went to be by her side and told me she scored 9 on APGAR, phew. They told me she is healthy and she will not need to go to the NICU but can stay with me in my recovery room my entire stay at the hospital, I was so so relieved. It hit me am now a mother and I was absolutely elated. I really felt the nurses were so amazing at Henry Mayo. The lactation consultants were very helpful and kind also.
I posted on Facebook a few days later "I wholeheartedly love motherhood. It is so much more than I could ever imagine. It’s absolutely amazing. It’s everything everyone says and so much more! My soul burst into pieces the moment I saw my daughter and heard her for the first time. It was as if God ripped out my heart and replaced it with a heart 10x larger for me to love with. Love has an entirely new meaning for my husband & I and we are beyond blessed and so in love."
We came home 3 days later, I am healing well and Gabriella is doing so great. She smiles and laughs in her sleep and rarely cries. She is gaining weight and passing her physicals. We are working on improving the breastfeeding process & I really need to sleep when she sleeps - instead I hover, watch & adore every inch of her. I am humbled by the amount of support I am receiving from my friends and family - a friend created a meal train for us so people can drop off food to us, my old co-worker friend stopped by to give Gabriella preemie sized clothes because although she is not premature Ella's NB clothes are kind of big on her, my Grad school buddy gave us food the other day and another friend gave me a bottle/nipple sterilizer because I didn’t have time to go buy one before her birth. Many friends are still sending me gifts and emailing/calling etc. I try to get back to people when I can.

So this post and this day did not go as planned, I went to bed last night with big plans for the day, I had already packed for Vegas, cleaned out my car and loaded up the car for Vegas to just be ready to go and productive. Then today, I was going to write Claire a blog, post letters from her aunties, have a great day at work and then come home to finish packing for Hawaii.  Instead, when I got to my car this morning around 6:30am I realized it had been broken into :( all my Vegas luggage was gone, along with my purse that I had forgotten in my car. 
I feel stupid. I feel sad. I feel violated.
I KNOW I should have brought my purse inside and I should have listened to Ryan when he said packing the car in advance wasn't necessary but here we are. Thankful for my boss for going in to work for me today because the 6 bank phone calls I had to make, the two trips to the dmv, the two trips to the bank and the failed attempt to drop Claire off at day care made this day a little insane and I would have been useless for 8 hours.

Claire joined me and it was actually really nice to have company while I cried to strangers haha She tried her first lollipop and also first drink out of a water fountain before a great nap. 

Once everything I can possibly do to make this less awful I will take her to the park to celebrate her 13 month :)

Thankfully Claire must have sensed that I need her to just go along for the ride because she was pretty great. Very cuddly and made new friends at the bank and the DMV, we got pretty lucky neither were super packed especially with no appointment at the DMV that could have been an all day event. I got a temporary debit card and I got my paper ID, that won't be enough for Vegas so I will be needing to pack my Passport.

Since my car accident last week I have been feeling kind of down, I have been feeling unlucky and put upon. Today did not help that but then I realized how actually blessed we are, everyone was so kind at the DMV and the bank. I had friends offer to take my shopping for new Vegas clothes, I had friends and employees offer to let me borrow clothes and my employee even offered me her Nordstrom and VS gift cards. I was floored, how generous and kind some people are so I can't let the shitty people who go around and steal other people stuff ruin my outlook. Today kind of sucks but I have my health and a wonderful family so I will just have to get over my new bathing suit being stolen and say good bye to all those cute rompers I never got to wear.

Claire at 13 months [396 days, 56 weeks] is a gem. I hope she learns from my mistakes and also listens when people give her good advice like, don't leave stuff in your car :)
Claire is weighing in at 17 pounds and 3 ounces, she has gotten so good at running and jumping, she loves grapes the most and still does not enjoy chicken. She has started to give kisses to everything, she drinks almond milk and cows milk as snacks but she still breastfeeds a good amount so I am continuing to pump for her while I am at work, once in the middle of the night and if I am just away from her.

Thanks for reading along!
Nikol

The Last Time

From the moment you hold your baby in your arms,
you will never be the same.
You might long for the person you were before,
When you had freedom and time,
And nothing in particular to worry about.
You will know tiredness like you never knew it before,
And days will run into days that are exactly the same,
Full of feeding and burping,
Nappy changes and crying,
Whining and fighting,
Naps or lack of naps,
It might seem like a never-ending cycle.

But don’t forget…
There is a last time for everything.
There will come a time when you will feed your baby for the very last time.
They will fall asleep on you after a long day
And it will be the last time you ever hold your sleeping child.
One day you will carry them on your hip,
then set them down,
And never pick them up that way again.
You will scrub their hair in the bath one night
And from that day on they will want to bathe alone.
They will hold your hand to cross the road,
Then never reach for it again.
They will creep into your room at midnight for cuddles,
And it will be the last night you ever wake to this.
One afternoon you will sing “the wheels on the bus”
and do all the actions,
Then never sing them that song again.
They will kiss you goodbye at the school gate,
The next day they will ask to walk to the gate alone.
You will read a final bedtime story and wipe your last dirty face.
They will one day run to you with arms raised,
for the very last time.

The thing is, you won’t even know it’s the last time
Until there are no more times, and even then,
it will take you awhile to realize.

So while you are living in these times,
remember there are only so many of them and
when they are gone,
you will yearn for just one more day of them.

For one last time.

-Author Unknown

Dear Claire, tomorrow you will be 13 months! I am now one of those months who is still counting past the year mark haha but I promise you, my dear, I won't do it to you in person in public :)
How do you want to celebrate another beautiful month passing? I was thinking a park date which seem to be your favorite thing right now, and maybe a smoothie.
I love you my little bean, you are growing so big, so fast. Every night when I put you to sleep you take up a little bit more of your crib and I have been crawling in with you, I just want to cuddle you when you are soundly sleeping and so calm. The days have been a little bit harder, you are having a few ups and downs that we are working through. I want you to always know that I will love you, through your emotional times. Your highs and lows are valid to us. We love you

xox
Momma

Callie tagged me in a post to share ten facts about my pregnancy with Claire and it sounded like fun.

1. I gained about 46 pounds and have 5 more to lose to get back to my prepreg weight2. Toast with butter was my go to meal, I did not want any vegetables, like any at all.
3. Cooking meat disgusted me, the smell of it just was the worst.
4. I got really into hypnobirth and never trusted my body more then I did those last few months of pregnancy. I will forever be in awe of what it can do.
5. Taking baths and getting foot massages were a daily need, my body ached.
6. I only had a few bouts of nausea but I was so very very tired the first trimester.
7. At the end of my pregnancy all I wanted was spicy food, especially indian food. mmmm
8. I found out I was having a girl at our gender reveal party when I was 19 weeks pregnant, it was such a fun day.
9. I loved giving birth and if I had to do it all over again I would try it the exact same way.
10. I did boot camp until I was 29 weeks pregnant and I wish I would have gone longer but I am proud of myself.

The last few nights have included me hoisting myself into Claire's crib once she has already peacefully fallen asleep. She usually doesn't even notice that I have joined her until I give her too many kisses or fix her blankie. I just miss her. She is getting so big and even though we have been having a few very rough patches when she giggles it all just goes away. She is happy and healthy and we will work on helping her deal with her emotions
Have a great week!
Nikol