Last NYE Claire just floated around, giggled and slept. This year I am excited for her to eat tapas, kiss friends at midnight and run around with the bigger kids. I am so looking forward to an evening holding my husbands hand and laughing with some of the best people in our lives.

I wish you a beautiful 2015, I hope you have a fantastic evening ringing it in

xoxo
Nikol

   Well, we are almost in the new year and I have been feeling anxious. Really anxious. I have bit off all my nails, made lists and then never crossed things off because I  felt overwhelmed and just kept adding things to the list instead of handling them. I just haven't been feeling like myself and its getting old and its time to switch it up. Maybe its the holiday shuffle, all the time driving around and packing bags, who knows. I am looking forward to taking a Claire & me day tomorrow and then ringing in 2015 surrounded by friends.
   I don't think I am gonna have a list of resolutions this year instead I think I will take a monthly inventory about what has been working for me and what hasn't and make my changes then. I know if I sat down now to start all the changes I want to make that they'd be the same as last year and I would follow through and I would feel proud but then something new would pop up so I am going to go into 2015 a little differently.
   I am excited that Team Z is planning to move early in the year, I am ready for a different space to fill with our memories and Claire's toys. This has been a part of the anxiousness but I have two days off and a massage awaiting me on Friday. 2015 is gonna be a good one
xo

Tell me your goals, resolutions or plans for the New Year
xox

It has been awhile since I have been able to sit down and update the blog when it comes to Claire and my Being a Mommy posts. Let me just say things have been pretty all over the place, Claire has been growing new teeth, not sleeping, finally sleeping and being the best daughter around. 



497 days.
SLEEP: I am happy to say that as I write this I feel rested! Its been awhile haha For a few days Claire had an even earlier wake up time of 3am, it was rough. Ryan is so helpful but with his new job I didn't want him to have to get up that early. So we made extra coffee and dealt with it. I am not sure if she was just getting new teeth, dealing with her cough or just really wanted to watch Peter Pan Live for the 9th time. Whatever it was has passed, I have to thank Zarbees cough syrup and Highland Teething Tablets because they really helped her with pain when she was getting ready for bed. Sleep with a child is tougher for us than I had imagined it would be before she was born. With work and just life I could always use more sleep. She has two sleep overs planned in the next few weeks and I know that I will lovelove the extra hours [if I can make myself stay in bed and not clean the house]. If you have a new baby or even a 16 month who wont sleep I wish you patience and send you sleepy good wishes. It will pass, but hey it might come back again I can't promise this will be the last update about 3am wake ups.

BREASTFEEDING: Extended breastfeeding is here to stay. I have to say I am so so happy with breastfeeding right now. I look back at how HARD it was, how scary and overwhelming times were and its such a distant memory. I love the rose colored glasses haha but I am thankful for this blog and the fact that I can pull from those hard times to help any friends who are in the thick of it. I am not kidding, I love it. So text me anytime, day or night I promise I won't be bothered. Right now Claire loves to nurse, she nurses once or twice in the morning before I go to work or she heads to day care, she nurses before bedtime and occasionally in the middle of the night. Night weaning occurred but if I can tell she is sad or in pain I throw it out the window, I love that I can help her. On the weekends it is much more frequent, up to 10 times during the day. Now she likes to grab the top of my shirt, point inside and say "that, that" I hope she comes up with a cuter nickname haha. No plan on weaning her, just let it run its course. I love it so I think I will be sad when she moves on. 

WORKING & BEING A MOMMY: Well, I have removed the 'pumping' part of this section. I decided to say Goodbye to my work pump when Claire turned 15 months. I can't say I have missed it too much :) It is nice to not have one more thing to carry around every day. The only downside has been not having enough milk to send with Claire to Patsy's but she has been ok with it. When I do have enough pumped for a bottle I send it or I save it for a night I know I won't be able to put her to bed. Her night time mommas milk is not something she is really ok with missing. Work has been good, I still miss Claire during the day and ask for pictures when I am away. When I drop her off she barely says "goodbye" now she just runs in and wants to play with her friends, this morning she ran right in and served herself some tea. It was adorable. I am glad she is loved and she enjoys her time while we are both at work. 

I hope you are all happy and healthy this holiday season

xoxo
Nikol

Hey sweet Claire,
    I haven't written to you in a little bit, we have been so busy! I just wanted to take a moment and remind me how loved you are. 
   Thanksgiving and my birthday were so wonderful, I am thankful to have you to celebrate these things with. Your dad and I have been celebrating together for a few years now but you really are the cherry on top. Watching the joy you bring to your grandparents, to our neighbors and to strangers in the grocery store is really fun.
   At 1 year and 3 months you really are your own little lady, you have so many opinions, likes and dislikes and so much joy. Occasionally I forget my goal of gentle parenting and become frustrated with you and for that I apologize. I know that I pack your days full of activities that could be exhausting for you, I promise to always bring more snacks and make sure you are rested. I want these holidays to make you feel involved, heard and appreciated. We have plans to go meet Santa soon and to go pick out your tree. I am excited to find some crafts that we can do together so we can all feel the holiday spirit together and work together to make this really special. 
    Last night seemed a little rough for you, was it the lentils? I rubbed and rubber your tummy but you seemed so sad, eventually when I climbed in the crib and we slept together it was a lot better. I am glad that I was able to soothe you and that we were both able to catch a little rest before starting our day. Have acai bowls with you this morning before you went to Patsy's and I went to work was really nice. So many moms stopped me to tell me how quickly this all goes and honestly I hate to hear that, it makes me so sad. I look at old pictures of you and I cry, you were so itty and it was so hard to appreciate it when you are there in that moment. I wish I had held you a little longer, I wish I had co slept a few more times, I wish I had looked at my phone less during nursing sessions, I miss you as a teeny baby but we can't go back so what we are doing now is soaking every second up. It has been such a change, we get to play so much more, cuddle for much longer and just enjoy each other whenever we can. Thank you for being so cuddly lately I know that won't always last.

I love you baby girl, keep growing but maybe slow down a little
xoxo
momma

Thank you so much for the photos, Stephen Freeland!