You never see them coming.

Most of the time, you settle into feeling that having a small baby is just part of your new normal. You have less free time and have to carry tons of stuff everywhere and better get over any aversions to poop real fast, but it’s still your normal life. Just with an extra 9.5 lbs to think about.

But then these moments catch you off-guard. You’ll stare into her eyes like you always do, and she’ll stare back like she always does, but this time there’s just a little bit more to it. There’s a little glimmer, a little more than there was yesterday, a little hint that all the gears inside that tiny head are working harder and faster by the day. She’s learning, she’s developing. She recognizes you.

Is Claire going to crawl soon? Is she ever going to walk or speak or grab toys? I can’t wrap my head around it. The very fact that she looked up and saw a familiar face completely blindsided me. I can’t imagine she’ll ever be bigger than 9.5 lbs. The nose will always be that shape. The toes will always be that small.

So that’s where I’m at right now and I’m not eager to grow out of it. I would love to blog more and share more thoughts and ideas but after seven weeks I’m still not ready to do anything but stare at her in wonder and amazement. Claire doesn't make me want to write. Claire makes me want to lose myself in those tiny blue eyes.

Hopefully I’ll write more often but that’s about all I’ve got in me at the moment. So to fill the empty word space I’ll just list all of the nicknames that I’ve given Claire so far. Feel free to add any new suggestions into the comments. We are a nickname family.

Claire Bear

Claire-O-Rama

Clarezilla

Claire Monster

Monkey

Monster Butt

Monkey Butt

Butt-Butt

Marshmallow

Malvavisca (Spanish for Marshmallow)

Gotta go. It’s Tummy Time.

Oh hello baby girl!  
I love you! Happy 6.5 weeks doll. You are growing so much each day and becoming such a personality. You smile all the time, you love to lay down on your changing table and kick around, you have a diaper rash but you do not let it get you down, and you still love to be bounced and patted. 
Your dad and I are so thankful for your disposition, you rarely cry and when you do you are just letting us know that you need something. I think I have figured out what your "I'm hungry" cry sounds like and if its not that then we change you and hold you and that usually fixes it.
So far you are liking your play mat and the giraffe is your favorite to look at. You enjoy relaxing on your belly during tummy time but when you are alert you are really getting good at holding up your head. I know I need to do that more with you but usually you have a full belly or are tired and those aren't the best times for it. Your daddy and I want you to know how much we love you but not just us - you are very loved. All of our friends enjoy holding you and playing with you. You have many people who love and support you cannot wait for you to get to know them all.
Your 2 month check up is coming up and you are going to have to get some shots, I am taking tips from other moms on how to make that easier on you I do not want you to hurt and I hope that you are ok. Think of the bright side, you get to get your ears pierced after! You are going to rock those studs.
Lately you and me have been walking a lot, you seem to enjoy all forms of transportation - the moby, the ergo and the stroller. I am hoping you are liking the sunlight and exercise. 
Ok I think you are ready to eat again, off I go.
xoxo
Mommy

- Claire smiles, all the time. She is the happiest little baby.
- Claire has tears now! Ok, I know a cheers? Well its adorable even though it makes her fussiness so much sadder for me.
- New bedtime routine that we are trying leaves a few hour for just hubby and me time.
- Working out and vitamin D. Getting back into my old routine is really helping already. As long as I do a few things outside of the house a day I feel much better about sitting with my boobs out the rest of the day.
- Naps/sleep are getting so much better for us, I feel more rested most of the time.
- I know my work misses me :) lately I have gotten a few texts saying they can't wait for me to come back.
- A clean closet, well at least on my side haha. Excited to go shopping and get some new things to clutter it with.
- Halloween! Claire has a costume and I am obsessed. No I am not telling - I kind of want it to be a surprise.

BOOBS!
- This gripe is a longer one. Breastfeeding is still going well in general but I am having some new pains that do not feel like thrush [ps thrush is still around, jesus its annoying] I was concerned that maybe my supply was going down so I got some fenugreek pills but then after talking to some people it sounds like I might have a fast let down and thats actually what is causing Claire to clamp down to slow the flow, I guess we will just see. I have made an appointment with a lactation consultant for next week, I want to make sure our latch is correct and that my baby girl is getting enough. Just looking at her it seems obvious that she is. She doesn't really fuss and she's a chubster. But I just want some reassurance. Breast feeding is no joke, I have never thought about my boobs this much. I just want to have a good supply saved for her when I go back to work.
- Insurance, it is just annoying. I mean, we can all agree on that.
- How quickly time is flying by, I am excited to go back to work and for the holidays but I want it to slow down a little





Instagram Photo Dump

At this time last year, Ryan and I were running around packing for our trip to Italy! We were both over the moon and could not believe that the time had actually arrived to start our first European vacation. We had made a list of what we wanted to do before we had children and a major item was TRAVEL we both wanted to travel and Ryan had always dreamed of Italy. We started to research it and we were on our way. 

We stayed up late at night deciding where to stay, what we had to see and if this really meant that we would start trying to have a family. We were excited for the trip and what the trip could lead to, would we have an Italy baby? Would we need to pick an Italian name to commemorate how fun it was to have a vacation baby?

We decided to  throw the birth control into the Trevi fountain [I am just kidding, I only threw coins] and get the effort started. With every coin I threw in I made a wish about something to do with our new life: getting pregnant easily, a smooth pregnancy, having a healthy baby, traveling to Italy again and to enjoy our trip to the fullest. Well, Trevi fountain, you really came through for me. Thank you. I am sure we will travel to Italy again and this time we will take our daughter Claire. Thank you Italy for reminding me of what a wonderful partner I have chosen. We travel well together, we love, we laugh and we made a miracle. I am so thankful for what this past year has given us and even though we will not be celebrating Ryan's birthday in Rome this year we will be celebrating it surrounded by love, our family and friends. 

I am a lucky lucky woman
xo

So, here we go. I get to work out and I am excited but also nervous about it. This means I have no more excuses and that results will need to start happening. My plan is to train twice a week with Lora, to walk a lot with Claire and to eat as clean as possible. We downloaded the Lose It app to keep track of my calories and exercise - I need to become diligent about that again because once I see exactly what I am eating written down it really helps me get a better grasp on what I am doing.

Thankfully Lora is awesome about letting Claire join me at the gym and a huge thank you to Claire for working with my schedule. I figure if I nurse her an hour before my appointment she will be good for the car ride and the training appointment. I also brought a back up bottle with me. It was great. We got out of the house on time and she never even woke up, she just napped through the session.

Off topic, I wanted to touch on getting out of the house with a 6 week old haha it is hard like people say but I feel really good with Claire. If I start prepping our day early enough we are able to get there on time with no stress and no tears from either of us. I just want to write this down to remind myself next time we are having a tough day.

Ok here we go, I plan on sharing my stats and we will be taking those monthly. These numbers are higher than I think I have seen before, I feel jiggly all over and kind of embarrassed but I need to get over it. This is my after baby body and we are going to get healthy and toned. I want to be strong and lean, excited to get this going.

Stats
9.23.13

Weight - 155.1 pounds
Arm - 11.5 inches
Neck - 13 inches
Chest - 37.25 inches
Waist - 38 inches
Hip - 44.5 inches
Thigh - 25.5 inches
Calf - 16 inches

My first workout went well. We started with measurements, then stretching and finally a great workout. Lora knows what my goals are [weigh 120, tone all over, and gain strength] and her workouts are slowly getting me started. I used to be able to hold plank for 7 minutes and today we started at 30 seconds what a change! I want to do those in the morning when I wake up and maybe whenever Claire goes down for a nap. I want to add a few more mins on there haha. 

Thanks for reading along, I want to keep track of this mostly for myself but I am loving having this blog and all my amazing friends who are so supportive. Thanks loves.

xo
Nikol

“She discovered with great delight that one does not love one's children just because they are one's children but because of the friendship formed while raising them.” --Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Thursh has taken over the ZumMallen home and there was no end in sight :( No matter how diligent we have been with the creams, her meds and the boiling of everything we touch I can not get rid of it and it seems to be getting worse. It has moved to her diaper area and my underarms. what.the.hell.

Thankfully my pediatrician and my midwife are on my side and have now prescribed me a 14 day hard core regimen that should totally knock this out for both of us. I am hoping this works not only to clear up Claire and to help the pain in my breast BUT Ryan and I have our 1st overnight getaway planned! I need to start pumping and freezing but cannot do that until we are in the clear! So excited for this trip to San Olivos and my parents are also so excited to have so much time with little Claire. Who, by the way, is not so little anymore! The midwifes weighed her today and our little chub is now 8 pounds 10 ounces! I am so proud of us, even with thrush she is eating like a champ, even though this does cause her to latch and unlatch a lot so it takes a lot longer and milk is wasted because she fills her mouth then lets go and it spills all over me - but we are doing well!!

You must read this article lol it hits home with the thrush/candida lol
"Ya know, if you wanna get rid of your Candida, you should stop feeding it." 

Today was another awesome day for many reasons - Meagan came to visit and love on Claire, we had bloody Marys, went shopping AND at my midwife appointment I was cleared for workouts! This is super exciting :)
I will start working out with Lora again, she's been my trainer for awhile now and I have been helping her out with her Facebook - Exercise with Lora - so now she is going to help me get toned and back to my pre-pregnancy weight. I am amped! My midwife checked my diastasis and diastasis recti is a fairly common condition of pregnancy and postpartum in which the right and left halves of Rectus Abdominis muscle spread apart at the body's mid line fascia. For some women after their pregnancy the gap is bigger than two fingers which can take a lot of work to close that area. Thankfully, mine is a little less than two fingers so daily I will work on my stomach muscles, walk, and stretch. 
Going to start with these:

The Lora is gonna help whip me into shape, I was weighed today and I have not gained or lost any weight still exactly the same as my last appt [13 pounds lost] I was hoping breastfeeding would make the weight fall off like everyone said but nope... oh well, starting next week I hope to see some changes. I want to feel good about my body and everything amazing that it has done. It is tough, right now I am iffy - went shopping and left very sad right now is not the time to try on new clothes but I am really looking forward to going when I am feeling better.

Look at this adorable pacifier! Meagan got this charm for me to put on my Claire Olive bracelet that she got for me when I announced that I was expecting! It was such a surprise and so thoughtful.

PLUS look at the box! It has an A & Z on it and a C! 


love love love it - thank you

Have a nice evening 
xo
Nikol



Instagram Photo Dump

I now have a baby lady who is 5 weeks and 2 days old and there have been ups and down but honestly it has been mostly ups and when there is a down moment her little face and now her sleepy smiles make every single second worth it.

Today has been a really great day, probably one of the best days for Claire and me - we seem to be on a great schedule and she is such a happy girl and I just wanted to make sure to also jump on here and share when things are super not just when we are having a rough go of it. Here are a few of the highlights of this past week.

Date Night
Ryan and I were invited to a sneak peek of a movie that comes out in December [I am not allowed to blog about the movie but IT WAS SO GOOD] and we were so excited to have a night out by ourselves, not that we do not adore having Claire with us, we obvi do, but a night without having to breastfeed while eating or change a diaper sounded wonderful. Grandma Dean did us a huge favor by coming over and spending some quality time with Claire it was a win win. Ryan and I had a great night out, I loved driving around with him, eating movie theater snacks with him and them coming home to our little love bug. Thank you to Grandma Dean for that and thank you in advance to everyone who has offered to babysit - we will take you up on that soon haha. Not only was date night so great but I have felt like such a team lately. Ryan took over a full night of feedings for me so that I could rest, he is so great with helping me around the house and we have gotten pretty good and getting out of the house with no stress and really enjoying our little family of three. I love him so much and am so thankful.

Baby wearing
Claire and I have gotten this down I think, I lobe our Seven sling that we got for free with a promo code, its easy to throw on and it holds her close to my chest - it has been the easiest to keep in the diaper bag in case we need it. We love our Ergo, this is more sturdy and reminds me of a backpack, since Claire is still so teeny we had to get the newborn insert and so far she really enjoys that too. I have been wearing it around the house and I am excited to take it out into the world. The Moby, today was our first time trying this out and I loved it! The only con is how hot it is but I mean its just hot right now so I won't knock it for that. I got her in there all snug and we headed out for a walk, she fell right asleep and it was enjoyable for everyone. Once we got home we were able to do laundry and tidy up so overall this was awesome.

Friends
We have been so lucky with all of our visitors lately - Claire met Sara and Jaclyn for the first time, both visits were awesome. I have missed them and it was wonderful to catch up. Sara brought us tons of delicious booze and Jaclyn brought tons of delicious sushi. What wonderful friends we have! Also had a date night with Erica, she made us delicious pizza and we watched a scary movie. So far life with a baby is awesome haha I am loving the in home dates but also enjoying when we go out and about. So far I have been doing that mostly with Ryan and family but soon I think we will venture out on friend dates too.

Cute Claire things
Claire has started to smile! I cannot tell if this is her social smile or just her sleepy smile but whatever it is, it melts my heart. She is such a happy baby, we really got so lucky with her. I am thankful for her and her disposition. A few of her favorite things: *being held *bath time *her mobile *her play mat *sleeping on our chest and *belly kisses. 
Even though we both still have thrush and it might have traveled to her diaper area she is still a wonderful sleeper and only gets fussy occasionally. As long as she stays clean, full and bounced with have a very happy girl. 

Healing
Overall I am feeling pretty good, I still get exhausted if I walk to long and sometimes my incision aches but I am taking it one day at a time. I find out next week if I am able to start working out again and until then I plan on walking a lot more often and starting to eat 'clean' I want to feel better about myself and my body since it is doing amazing things on the daily.

________________________________________________

Hope you are doing well and I would love to hear what is going on in your life :)
xo
Nikol




Instagram Photo Dump

Every single little part of my baby girl is beautiful. I am so happy that we have  these photos that capture her little pieces and her little personality.

Her smiles, her bright eyes and our love for her are in all of these photos. I love them!

On a Friday afternoon Melissa and her intern came to our house to take pictures of our new family of three, we had lots of fun and Claire slept through most of it. Thankfully she did open her pretty little eyes for a few photos. I am enjoying every single second but I cannot help but think about what kind of little lady she is going to grow into. I am so excited to watch her grow and document it along the way

Thank you Melissa Vossler Photography for these photos - we love them!! Hope to book with you again soon :)

Melody made us this adorable beanie! If you want to get something adorable check out her etsy shop, I can't wait to order something else - love it! Lap of Luxury



CHECK OUT ALL OF THE PHOTOS HERE:
Claire Olive ZumMallen

So happy for our famiy friends, they welcomed their baby boy early this morning!

Starting at midnight on 9/9/2013 I decided to keep track of everything Claire and I did so one day I could look back and have a snapshot of what a random Monday looked like with an almost one month old! Now that it is the 10th I have a one month old baby girl and I sometimes still cannot grasp it. She is amazing.

Monday
12:01am - suffering after my back spasm that happened around 10pm I nursed Claire, this was the first time I did it while laying down on my side while she sat up next to me and leaned in. It worked really well and maybe I will do that more often since it did take some pressure off of my back. In a lot of pain but Claire was hungry so she nursed for about 20 minutes which is longer than she had been doing all day Sunday.
Once she was done I crawled in to our bed with my pain meds and a water bottle and she slept with daddy who then swaddled her and put her in her crib.
2am - We heard Claire making some grunting noises through the monitor, we were both in a zombie state haha. I woke up holding a pillow and thought it was Claire, Ryan woke up and said he was going to go get Claire for me because of my back spasm and instead he reached up and turned on the fan "to help keep her cool" hahah she ended up just going back to sleep so we did too.
3:20am - Eventually Ryan woke up enough and brought her to me, he did not want me to get up which was really nice and nursing her in bed was sweet but I was worried I would fall asleep and co-sleeping would not work for us so usually I would not do this. She only ate for about 7mins but we cuddled for a little while after that since she seemed pretty active.
3:40am - Ryan was OUT so I got up, changed her, swaddled her: I do not do this nearly as good as Ryan but thankfully she was not very picky tonight and went right back to sleep. So did I.
5:24am - Claire was really easy tonight, heard her through the monitor and she just needed to changed, she nursed again for about 15 mins and went right back to sleep after another just ok swaddle.
6:27am - Ryan gets up for work, I take over the entire bed. I am finally feeling comfortable enough to lay on my stomach, sometimes I still get a little nervous about it but man I had missed it!
7:01am - Claire starts making noise so I get up to change her and nurse her as Ryan is getting ready to head out to work. She eats for about 12 mins and Ryan brought me her boppy. My back had started to hurt really badly again and I could not use her bassinet because she spit up all over it last night [I was cleaning it when my back went out so it was still dirty] I sat her in her boppy next to me in bed and we both dozed after another nice cuddle sesh. I do not usually hang out in my room, esp not in my bed after 7am lately so it was a nice relaxing morning if you did not consider the back pain.

7:30am - Claire is still asleep so I clean her bassinet and take a quick shower around 8am.
8:15am - Claire wakes up and we just hang out watching the Food Network, I eat a yogurt, take my pain meds, and chug some water.
9:51am - Claire gets a little fussy, so I change her and nurse her for about 7mins, afterwards I give her her medicine which must taste good because she never complains. I also put on my ointment.
10:17am - spits up all over herself and me, change her and she continues to cry

10:49am - wants to nurse again, this time for only 5 mins and then my girlfriend Alex arrived to visit and brings Claire a gift! The cutest Winnie stuffed animal, Claire has a new best friend.

11:20am - Brie gets her teeth trimmed and both Brie & Winnie get treats.
11:45am - I was able to cut up some havarti and grab a few crackers to munch on while rocking Claire to try and get her to be less fussy.
11:47am - Claire is also hungry so she nurses while I finish my snack but she is really fussy, I am not sure if its from the thrush or just a mood, she takes her medication again.
12:14pm - we tried bouncing, tummy time on boppy, and walking around

12:44pm - Finally got Claire to rest and relax on my chest, she dozed a little bit until the construction guys outside banged on my door, I never thought I would think, "I just got my baby to sleep!" but I did haha I was able to move her onto the bed and she continued to sleep and once she woke up she was in a cutesy mood and we just hung out for a little bit

1:50pm - I finally start to get ready for my chiropractic appt, did my make up and brushed my hair after a morning in bed with my baby.
2:03pm - Claire was hungry and needed to be changed so we took care of that before loading her into her car seat, thankfully she usually likes the seat and car rides and today she was great.
2:35pm - Chiro time, I was very much in need of this appointment. Bob was amazing and helped me out but he did confirm what I thought, this just happens sometimes after pregnancy. He said it could take up to a year for my body to be back to normal, I thought after I had the baby I would feel better but here we are a month later and new pains are appearing. Claire slept through the appointment and was fawned over by Bob.

3:52pm - We get home and I am able to heat up some leftover pasta for lunch while Claire continues to rest in her car seat.
4:21pm nurse and change the baby and rock her for awhile on the couch while we watch some more Food Network, it has been nice to not do very much today but just hang out with my lady.
4:50pm - Ryan gets home from work
5pm - David comes to visit! He got her the cutest little bunny outfits and brought me some Starbucks Kcups, it had been way way too long since we caught up at the salon, Claire slept right through his visit but at least he was able to meet her.
5:20pm - Adam comes to visit from Chicago! She sleeps for awhile and then starts to cry so Ryan changes her and I nurse her and give her her medicine.
6:08pm - She falls back to sleep in Adams arms and mommy has a beer, Adam heads out and we cannot wait for him to visit again.

7:09pm - Ryan warms up his dinner while I start to write this blog and lay on a few ice packs. Claire is sleeping again, what a little angel.
7:23pm - Claire gets a little fussy but daddy rocks her and watches football while catching me up on his work day. I miss him during the day and am sad that he is back to work 5 days a week, we loved having him home.

7:45pm - I warm up some ribs and try to chug some more water, I have not been drinking enough lately and I need to keep it up especially while I am nursing Claire. I knew she was about to wake up so I wanted to get a  lot in so that we could nurse and be happy.
8:15pm - I nurse Claire and she is easy going, no fussing and she seemed pretty relaxed. While I nurse, Ryan does dishes and all the house chores that he would not let me do because of my back pain. He is the best.
8:40pm - Claire gets a diaper change and an outfit change, she got a lot of medicine on her outfit after the last feeding haha. She has been spitting up a lot lately but they say she is a "happy spitter" because she does not seem phased by it at all. Claire really loved to be on the changing table ahaha, she stretches out and likes to model for me. It is the most adorable thing.

9:05pm - Ryan makes me lay back down on the couch, which is fine because I have tons of reality tv show to catch up and Ryan loads Claire up into the stroller and takes her on a little walk to put her to sleep and have some daddy daughter time. 
9:34pm - Ryan returns from their walk with a passed out baby and we both just relax and listen to her coos
10pm - Ryan goes into the bedroom to work and I just continue laying down even though I wanted to do laundry, clean the toilet and change Winnie's cage hhaha cannot wait for my back to heal.
10:32pm - I woke up Claire because I wanted to nurse her one more time before I tried to hit the hay, that way I could sleep a little bit more. She slept while eating and then went right back to sleep, success. Off to bed for me and daddy swaddled her and put her in her crib

Claire did not wake up until about 1 am, so the sleep was nice and a new day began.

Baby girl, we love you so much. Thank you for enriching our lives in such a way.