I wish I had more of these from when she was itty, they are so fun to watch.
happy birthday to Claire!
Just a few videos from my phone and my sisters phones.
I wish I had more of these from when she was itty, they are so fun to watch.
i am so glad someone got this on video
happy birthday to Claire!
have a wonderful weekend
Hey friends! I just wanted to post a little update about our baby lady. She is doing really great, her platelets are not only stable but they are continuing to rise with the IVIG, the real test will be in two weeks when the IVIG will be totally out of her system and we then watch her count to make sure there is no drop. Last week there was some new bruising and she was super lethargic so I kind of went into a panic and Ryan took her in to get checked, thankfully she was fine and the bruising/lethargy was from her big ol birthday bash and we did not have anything to worry about. Today she went in again for her scheduled check up and they had gone up again, we are so thankful for the IVIG treatment and for everyone who has donated plasma and platelets to help babies and anyone else who could use them.
After her appointment I made the decision to skip nap time [ i know i know it could have gone very badly] and head to the blood donor center to get some blood work done, to find out if I would be able to donate. I want to pay it forward and help out anyone else who might eventually need this. I will find out next week if I have enough to share and then we will go from there.
Donate Blood Platelets - a link I used to figure out what this is all about but I plan on donating at Memorial Hospital you can go in anytime during their office hours [Mon Wed Fri 8:30am - 4pm & Tues Thur 10am - 5pm] and they can do blood work to let you know if you are eligible to donate [its free and they validate your parking ticket]
While we were there the sweet nurses gave Claire a stuffed moose and she played the entire time, no nap needed :)
thanks again for the love
Well, let me first say that I cried a lot the night before Claire turned one. She nursed like a champ and started to fall asleep on my chest and then I realized what this meant, this would be the last time I nursed her in our first year. I asked Ryan to not use a flash and get a shot of Claire rest on my chest instead the flash went off and Claire went into full cheese mode haha. I love it, I will cherish this picture forever.
This first year was trying, there were ups and down but it was the most beautiful year of our lives, we experienced so many things together. Team Z made it! We did it - I am so proud of us and our little loving family.
Claire's party was such a blast and I have so so many people to thank for all of their help, first we have to say thank you to Dave, the pool and rec room was so perfect! We are thankful that you reserved that for us because it fit all of our family and friends plus we had a pool, bbq and all those fun games. Thank you for everything!!
My mom made her famous cucumber and tomato salad, cheese/sausage plus crackers AND homemade chocolate spoons, it was delicious and adorable what more could you ask for!
Todd & Dana whipped up the worlds best guac and salsa and even made me my own special garlic free version, so yummy - thank you!
Elaine stepped up with the tastiest and cutest little smash cake and cupcakes for the party, it was so generous and last minute the party would not have been the same without them, thank you!!
Before I get to the picture overload I also need to thank the rest of our family for all of their help with setup and just for coming to celebrate our little love. I had a sister fly out from Hawaii, another sister fly out from Washington and a sister in law came from Kansas! We are so blessed to have such great family and we love them all so much!
We are also so thankful to all our friends who came out to party with us, we hope you had a great time and we want to get together again soon!!
I do not have the words to express how I am feeling about having a one year old, just now that she is amazing us day to day and we love her and appreciate how much you all show up for us and we only hope we can do the same for you
Birthday pictures! - check out some of the shots we got
It was early evening when the phone rang. I was over at your great-grandparents’ house and I went upstairs to take the call in private. Your daddy doesn’t call often so at first I was scared there might be something wrong and I wanted to answer right away. I relaxed as soon as I heard his voice; I could tell he was smiling just by listening.
“I just wanted you to know,” he said, almost giggling with held-in excitement, “you’re going to be an auntie.”
I was speechless. I had to sit down right away. I kept forgetting to breathe and my face started hurting from how hard I was smiling. The first thing I remember saying was, “Can I make the baby blanket?”
I was out shopping for yarn and fabric immediately, telling everyone that my little niecephew was on the way, imagining what you would be like, what we would do together, what I could add to your life to help you learn and grow into the person you’ll want to be.
I wondered if I could ever be good enough for you, if I could ever offer the support and the love a child needs from their aunt. I wondered how I was supposed to know how much was good enough, or if there was even such a thing as ‘good enough’ for any child. If there’s some sort of manual out there for how to be a good role model, I haven’t found one that made any sense. When we found out you were a little girl, I was even more worried. I started thinking about Barbies and body images and impractical pink ruffle dresses. I thought about the opposite, thinking those things are shameful or embarrassing and avoiding them all with a hatred for anything feminine. I thought about how far away I was and how hard it was to grow up with no family nearby but my parents and nowhere to go to get a break from each other. I wondered if I was still too much of a child to be one of many adults you would need to help you grow.
Claire Olive, you are partially named after Claire, my grandmother. My clearest memory of her is the two of us sitting on a pier, dangling our bare feet in the water. She put her arm around me and showed me how to wiggle my feet so tiny fish would swim over and kiss our toes. I remember going for walks and watching her pick up a rock, right off the ground, crack it open with a hammer, and find a sparkling purple geode inside. I remember being much older and learning that the fish were actually trying to eat our toes, that Grandma had been planting geodes in the yard for us to “discover.”
Grandma Claire made magic where there wasn’t any and showed me how to look for it. The fish were just looking for food but she insisted they were kissing us, showed me how to tempt and bait them, laughed with me. She planted rocks in the yard but she showed me my first geode, sparkles and gems inside a dull, plain rock. She taught me to look for beauty in the simple because the simple can be the most beautiful.
I had so little time with her and she still made such an impact. This is what I want to be for you, a source of magic, a teacher and fellow explorer. It’s a tall order and maybe it will be hard work. I worried about that, too, about living up to the potential of the many wonderful women who make up our family, using all the lessons they’ve taught me to make you proud of your family. Like Great-Aunt Kim, who made my baby blanket - and in part, yours! Or Great-Grandma Judy who hated to cook but always made time for chocolate chip cookies in the kitchen, baking them together. Great-Great-Aunt Jess, who hosted every Memorial Day picnic and let us run wild around her yard, and today still volunteers at the Renaissance Faire with Great-Great Aunt Cindy as Potato Wenches. Great-Aunt Pam who always had a hug and a kiss and a pat on the back, any time, whenever you wanted, without question. All of our cousins, Michelle and Katie and Samantha and Natalie, who were - and are- so fun and playful and ready for adventure.
There are so many men in our family that are wonderful and admirable but I thought of the women and what they did that I wanted to mimic. You will have some experiences that only women do and I hope I can offer some sort of help and guidance to make these trials easier to bear, and the victories more fun to celebrate.
The day I first held you in my arms was terrifying. You were so small and so soft, so trusting as you relaxed in my arms just a minute after seeing me for the very first time. How could I answer that trust, how could I rise to the level that would let me deserve your rapt attention, your sudden love? Be there, be there, be there, but I am fifteen hundred miles away and might not ever be closer. It’s so much easier now than it used to be and you and I have Skyped several times, waving and laughing and reading through the computer. It’s still not quite the same, though, and I hate that, I worry about that. What about the first big fight you have with Mom and Dad? What if you need somewhere to go that isn’t home and you need more friendly-auntie love than gushing-grandparent love? What if you need me and I’m far away?
I still don’t have an answer, my little bear, but I think it’s okay so long as I keep worrying about it. So long as your needs and worries are up high on my list of priorities, I think we’re okay. I’ll come see you as much as I can and I’ll keep convincing your parents about the growth potential in visiting Kansas and we’ll Skype and email and Facebook and Instagram and whatever else the future holds for us. And when you fight with Mom and Dad, I will wait at the airport to pick you up to tempt fish and find geodes and bake cookies, until you’re ready to go home again.
Dear Claire, dear Claire, the world holds so much magic and adventure for you and you are running at it with wild abandon, laughing smiles, and very little balance control. Freewheel through life because, terrified or not, I will catch you whenever you ask, quickly rebalance you, and set you back on your feet so you can run all over again.
I am scared out of my mind and I hope I always am. It means I’ll keep trying my best to be good for you.
I want to protect you and care for you and applaud for you and cry with you. I want to offer warm hugs and crying shoulders, I want to be a spectator and a teacher and a cheerleader. I love you and I don’t ever want you to doubt what that means when I say it, how much I want you to grow and succeed and be so happy. I want every day to be magic, I want you to smash every rock with a hammer and find sparkling gems inside.
Happy birthday, Claire. This is a day of celebration for me as I watch you smile and laugh and discover the world, as I celebrate a year of success in doing pretty good at this auntie gig, because you are knocking this nieceling thing right out of the park.
Feliz cumpleaños, mi amor.
So much has happened in this past year that I am thankful for photos and this blog because I probably would not remember half of it. The timing of the contractions is a blur, the deep breaths and the anticipation can be hard to remember but I will always be able to look back, thanks for following along.
Our teeny little girl has so much personality that I am excited to see what she brings to the world, what kind of trouble she gets in to and the fun that we have. We have already had so much fun, year 2 has a lot to live up to but I am sure we can do it.
Tonight while I nursed Claire I had my moment, I looked down at her sweaty head and I started to cry, I started to cry because tomorrow when she wakes up she is going to be one. It happened too fast. I want to soak her up, all of her teeth grinding, her box climbing and her giggles. I know they will all still be there tomorrow but it feels like a big change is coming. I am looking forward to it but sometimes I miss my 5 pound 8 ounce newborn and wish I could go back for just a day or two. I learned so much this past year and I think if I could go back I would still do it all the same but I would be more gentle on myself, more understanding of Claire and more peaceful with my choices. I never knew I could love this much, I am thankful that now I know.
you are 1! we made it an entire year! you have helped us become better people and better parents and we thank you for that. i have been feeling very sappy lately and crying pretty much every single time i think about you turning 1. you are still so teeny but you are so fierce. you make us laugh, worry, plug our noses, strive to be more fun, and just enjoy every moment. thank you for coming the way you did and when you did because that is what created exactly where we are right now.
so many people love you, do you realize that? Our friend started a fund to help pay for your hospital bills and so many people donated! Your family, your friends and even strangers reached out to make the three of us feel loved and supported and there really are no words for their kindness, instead i ask you to grow up and to be giving the way we will be and the way people have been to you.
there are so many things left to teach you - how to drink out of a cup, how to blow kisses and how to balance a check book but first things first little Claire - i want to teach you how to bbq for your friends, how to float a sunday away with no cares in pool and how to enjoy delicious cake [thank you, Elaine].
i love you, so very much my baby girl, sleep tight because when you wake up you will be ONE
My body did something amazing last year, I hope to always remember that and treat it kindly because the highs and lows of my birth day are something that will always be with me. I am proud of myself and what I accomplished with my husband right by my side. If I ever did it again I know I would attempt it all the exact same way.
Over the past year or so I have learned so much more about my husband. I wanted to jot them all down because he is so cool :)
- Ryan is very emotional when it comes to me and Claire. Throughout our relationship I had rarely seen him cry even on our wedding day when I wanted the sob face when I walked down the aisle, but on the day of my delivery and then days in the hospital with Claire he is a man who is ok with crying and I appreciate that. It makes me have to hold it together and since usually I am a puddle I think its good for us both.
- He loves to play! I have never seen someone play with a baby as much as Ryan, he is creative and energetic. I need it to rub off on me.
- He gets sick more often than he thinks he does. With lack of sleep and hydration and newly discovered allergies Ryan has been sick more than me! & I get sick pretty often. We both need to slow down, hydrate and sleep a lot more.
- He is still the best husband I could ask for, and now he is just also the best partner in parenting. I knew he would be but now after the first year it is totally confirmed. He changes more diapers than I do, he happily will give her a bottle if I need a little more time to sleep. He loves to have nights alone, just the two of them. He loves her so fiercely that it is a joy to watch them just stare at each other.
- He is a really good cook, he used to make a few signature things but no he knows he loves to follow recipes and when he cooks for us its always delicious.
- He can totally get into cartoons, he watches Disney with her all the time where Claire & I really love some BRAVO haha
Raising Claire with Ryan is so fun and is only going to get better
I am a working mother who jots down random thoughts, monthly updates and occasionally my husband posts.