I have to say I am pretty lucky with random.org BUT I wouldn't say I win everything :)

Freshly Picked is based in Provo, Utah and was started by a mom who was tired of badly made children shoes [I  hear ya!] she started this company in her kitchen and she was even on shark tank, Susan Petersen/Freshly Picked have an amazing social media presence and that is how I first heard about them. I have been pining over these beautiful leather moccs but had yet to purchase any because I was not able to afford them and wasn't sure how they would fit since I had mostly seen them on Instagram. I entered every single Facebook and Instagram contest that they ran and cheered on the winners, and now it was my turn!

This one seemed like a huge longshot, not only was it for a warehouse sale in Provo, Utah where tons of my family lived, but FP would fly me there, put me up in a hotel, and give me credit to get some awesome gear for Claire. I had to enter and I even texted my cousins in Provo and told them to go get some moccs for me in case I wasn't the lucky one. Well, guess what - I WAS! I started getting texts and Facebook notifications right away and called work first to make sure I could take some time off and then we got the ball rolling.

I leave tomorrow at 7am with Claire in tow and we are off to shop, nap in a comfy hotel, see all my family[eeeee], hopefully meet baby Aaliyah who is due on Friday, and meet the all the amazing people of Freshly Picked and Provo Roundup!

I will update this when I get back from my trip! 
so thankful, xoxox

Nikol

Here is our trip in pictures:

Well, back to the real world it is. No more running around Provo from one family get together to another, no more smelling of the delicious leather they use to make their shoes, no more teeny baby to snuggle and no more uninterrupted mommy and Claire time. It was the best! I can't even believe that it really happened, winning was crazy enough but then my time at the airport and on the plane was wonderful, and my newest little 2nd niece [? my cousins baby haha] was born as my plane landed. The timing could not have been more perfect.

Freshly Picked has the best staff and the most adorable shoes, they were so generous and I have to say that was the best give away I have ever sen on Facebook, companies have a lot to live up to if they want to even come close. The flight was great, the rental car, the hotel and especially getting to stock up on quality cute gear for my baby lady. I am so thankful for all the swag :)

PLUS I got to see so much of my family, I visited in March this year and it was so great to go back so soon. Lots of new babies have been added to the family, there has been weddings and I missed a lot of those things so I was so happy to be able to reconnect and spend so much  time with my grandparents. Their house is so full of my childhood memories that that was the best part. 

Thank you thank you thank you Freshly Picked and thank you to all my family and friends who made the effort to catch up with us while we were in town

love 
Nikol & Claire

Now, there was no take your baby to work day planned but it happened anyway. An issue with my daycare occurred which ended up with Claire in tow to my Laguna salon, thankfully we could use the carpool lane and off we went. I love my job and I love being a mom so this is why I do both, I hadn't really thought about how to do them both at literally the same time though until the drive to work yesterday morning. I knew I would be able to breastfeed her when needed but I did not have any toys packed or any food ready to go. We ran over to the grocery store and stocked up on some fun new pouches, a  few dried apricots, some bananas and a kids Orgain [I love Orgain and the fact that they had chocolate protein shakes for 1 year old made me excited]. 
Once we got to the salon Claire began to run around and explore, then 5 minutes later she was already laying on the floor bored haha. Thankfully my daughter is easy going and she enjoyed playing with towels, tissue, being pulled around in a box, meeting all my customers, hanging out with my boss, pushing the mop bucket around and just following me around the salon, she was so attached to me and it felt awesome. It was great to get a full day with her mid week. I was waiting for a melt down since she did not want to take a nap even when I wore her in the Ergo, but she pulled through for me and was just a teeny bit whiny. Even though it was exhausting to combine my two full time jobs it was also really fun and I am glad that I was able to do it. My entire pregnancy I knew I would be going back to work, and I haven't really looked back. Sometimes it  makes me sad to miss out on mid day play dates or the milestones that I might have missed but she is so loved and we make the most of every second we have together so I think we are all doing alright :)

Once we got off work we headed to the beach for a great evening with Robin, Kate & Holly - perfect was to decompress.

Hope you all had a great day and tell me about a time where day care fell through for you/you got to take your baby to work, I want to hear your stories.

xo
Nikol

Lets take some time to remember the babies that were born asleep, or whom we carried but never met, or who we held but could not take home, or the ones who made it home but did not stay.

I am sorry for your loss.

A little link love when it comes to the breastfeeding/formula debate.

Why I don't breastfeed, if you must know.
This woman was dealt a very hard hand and I am so happy that she has recovered and was able to have the child she wanted. I understand there are bullies when it comes to every little thing a mother chooses to do. It is really sad when it happens with something like  breastfeeding. I am passionate about the pros of nursing your child but I do not judge mothers who make a different choice. I think this could have  been a really great article but then it veered off, it took an odd tone about how breastmilk could actually be worse than formula and then she lost me. 

I headed on over to The Fearless Formula Feeder blog and it made my stomach hurt. Do people really treat eachother this way? Have I ever made a friend who feeds their child formula feel this way? I really hope not. The only thing I got out of that website, besides a new hashtag #ISupportYou, was that some of us need to take a step back and see if we are being bullies. I haven't seen anyone personally do it and I have never wanted to do that but I will be more mindful. I will not stop saying things like 'Human milk for human babies' or 'breast is best' because I 100% feel that way but I will never tell you that what you are doing is wrong because we all only want THE BEST for our babies.

I Support You: The conversation we should be having about breastmilk and formula feeding.
You do not have to read the whole thing but you should read this:

We are standing together, and we’re asking you to stand up with us. You, at the La Leche League meeting. You, in the lactation consultant’s office, perfecting your newborn’s latch. You, in the Nordstrom’s dressing room, nursing quietly on the couch. You, at your older son’s baseball game, nursing openly in the bleachers. You, who have cried rivers of tears over your feeding choices, and you, who chose without fear.

I support you.

You, in your hospital gown, asking the nurses for formula. You, shaking a bottle with one arm while your baby snuggles close in the other. You, who have researched the healthiest, most tummy-friendly formulas. You, who pump and mix and combo-feed. You, who have cried rivers of tears over your feeding choices, and you, who chose without fear.

I support you.

You, with your partner, as you feed the baby that you are hoping to adopt. You, who had a mastectomy and are locking eyes with new life. You, who chose your mental health, or your physical health, or your freedom, or your lack of freedom, so that you could feed your baby in a way that protected both of you. You, the Daddy who is finger-feeding your infant. You, the Mommy who lovingly pours formula into a G-Tube. You, at the NICU, pumping your breasts by the light of the machines that are keeping your baby alive. You, with the foster child who you are loving back to health. We see you. You are a part of this conversation too.

We support you.

Last Saturday night the three of us went to a local coffee shop to take part in the 3rd ever open mic night about breastfeeding. I wasn't planning on getting on stage, I hadn't prepared anything and I actually though we weren't even going to be in town but there we were and it felt electric. As soon as I walked in I knew a few faces and we all hugged and chatted and ordered dirty chais and delicious sandwiches and then took a seat. I watch moms file in with their babies, some a few weeks old and some 5 years old. What we all  had in common was that we all feel strongly about breastfeeding and it has impacted us in our lives. It was more emotional than I expected it to be. I saw a few mothers get up and share their stories or just thank the group for being there and I was brought to tears more than once. Ryan kept urging me to go up there and share, after a bit I knew that I would regret it if I didn't. As much as I loved improv and acting I do have a slight fear of public speaking [hey, Lend Me Your Kite - thanks for the Fearless Friday post I will use this too] but I figured we are all 'friends' here and I knew most of them from our Breastfeeding Support Group of Facebook so here we go. I got up there and I cried. A lot. haha 
I introduced myself and also let them know how I found this group - you can find that here 
[The Day I Almost Gave Up Breastfeeding] and then when I returned for my first meeting, thank you Granola Babies and Beach Cities Midwifery for hosting it [Support group, with a splash of IUD hah]
I didn't have anything prepared so I read the letter that I had written to my breasts that I have shared a few times on here, I love that letter. I am so glad I wrote it because it takes me right back to when I was when I wrote it. Man, I am thankful for this blog. I will post a few YouTube videos below, but I read it and I felt so supported and so loved. I am thankful for breastfeeding and what it has brought into my life. So glad so many women got up there to share.
xoxo


Below are the videos that I took from the open mic - There is me, Maricela, Celine, Christine & Christine's mom. I have other moms but I do not know them well enough to post but if they do not mind it I will.

Weaning
by Celine Malanum

 Last night was like any other night –
 but it wasn’t.
 We lie in bed, facing each other;
how familiar we are with each other in the dark.
How well we know each others’ bodies –
the curves, the warmth,
the squish.
How there in the darkness the day’s mania
has nothing to feed on so it
hushes away into the night.
And how everything is reduced to just you my daughter, 
and me,
your mother
Our legs locked in two places.
There the awkward angle of my head, my 
neck an accordion, my right arm reaching like a sea-swept tree.
Your small hands, creamy gloved starfish gently patting my 
breast in your still-small perfect mouth, buoyed 
by each breath.
Gently patting them like you would pat an old friend on the back,
with great familiarity, with great affection
as if to say: 
There, there, old pal.
Your breaths growing heavier and slower;
it’s almost the end.
I’m almost free! I thought so many nights before
I'm almost free!

So last night was like any other night.
I’m almost free!
But it wasn’t.
I’m almost free!
Because see this night 
I am not ready.
I miss you, Daughter,
even as you sleep here just beside me.
I’m sorry for what? For everything? No. 

For this? This tender untangling, this halving of our bodies? Yes.
And so I weep for us both.

Last night was like any other night 
I end the manic day
stowed away with you in the stillness.
Huddled, we cling to each other,
driftwood rolling together on milk white sheets.
Maybe this night I cling to you tighter,
maybe this night I am the one who wants more.
It is you who has the magic, not me;
I see that now.

I know there is a cycle here
like the moon we are so tied to, my love.
I know like every glorious thing we have celebrated
and every brute thing we have endured –
this too shall pass.

But for now
let there be one more night.

________________________________________________________________________________
I am so thankful for Celine and her poem, it is so beautiful and I am happy that she let me share it here with you. This touches me in so many ways and I cry each time I read it. 

My breastfeeding relationship with Claire has changed me in so many ways, every single day since the day she was born has been impacted, its amazing. The other day Ryan mentioned that he really is proud of me [swoon] and how I have found my niche in the breastfeeding community that I stumbled upon. I love breastfeeding, I love talking about nursing, I want to support my friends and strangers when it comes to their decision. I hope this isn't the end of our journey, the closeness I feel when I snuggle Claire close to be cannot be compared. I have nourished her since the day she was born with something my body makes especially for her, if I am only going to have one child I am glad that I gave breastfeeding 200% the first time around. If we end up changing our mind I know that I will want to do the same again. I don't need my breasts to be my own because I know they can be so much more. Thank you for reading along.

Love, Nikol

Heyo dad!
Happy birthday! I am only 1 so 30 must be super old. I am glad I got to throw eggs all over the restaurant with you this morning and lets eat yogurt with peas in it for dinner to celebrate.

Love you more each day, thank you for being the best dad and for loving me so hard.
muah dada
COZ

Happy Birthday to the love of my life! 
This morning we are celebrating with a family breakfast before everyone heads out for their day and I am so thankful that I found him and have been lucky enough to celebrate so many birthdays with him!

Ryan, I wish you all the happiness in the world. Watching you become the father you always wanted to be has been such an amazing thing and I know with each year that passes you will only become a more loving and giving man. I am so excited to see how this year turns out for you, I think its going to be wonderful.

Thank you for always making us eggs, for letting me sleep a little bit extra when Claire wakes up super early before work, for building me a sick nest when I am sick, thank you for all of your support, thank you for laughing at my little dances and thank you for just being the best all around.

We love you so much!
Nikol & Claire