Now this one is totally still relevant haha if you read my post about Giving Up you might be happy to hear that on Sunday night Claire only woke up once around midnight, then she did the same thing on Monday night and last night she slept alllll night long! It was amazing! I could not believe the downpour did not wake her and yes I still woke up around 1am to pump and then woke up for my day at 5:30am and pumped before getting ready for work but it was really great to see that she can do it and that she is going to do it even if it is on her own time. That has not really changed just how tired I am but hopefully soon that will also get better. I think traveling and having a few busy days at work have a little something to do with it though. This past weekend while we were in Utah she slept pretty well too, she started the night in her play pen and after nursing around 4am she stayed with us in bed, mostly because I was lazy and wanted the cuddle time, vacations mess up sleep anyway so I thought it was totally worth it. I won't start celebrating just yet because who knows how tonight will go but as of right now sleep is going well, Claire is getting much better at it.
I am happy to say that I really feel like we have got into our perfect little groove. She eats well and she doesn't hit me while nursing [which I found out is really a thing] She does like to pop off and look around which makes her get a little bit distracted which is not that bit of a deal so in reality we are doing so well. She will be 8 months old in a few days and it amazes me that I have been able to sustain this little human with what my body makes. At a baseball game last night, my friends daughter asked me why she eats out of boobie so I told her that my body makes all of her food for her, then she asked me "why" now I haven't been a mom for very long so I do not know how to answer all the whys I am sure I am going to get and I just said that the body does amazing things and then another friend told her that its because God made it that way. Both great answers but I really want to get better at describing this wonderful thing my body can do so that a child can understand because I know they look and I know they are curious and I just want to be better at normalizing this for them and giving them the best answer that I have. I plan on researching this soon. This past weekend while we were in Utah I was not sure how my family would react to my breastfeeding and I have to say that it brought me to tears when my grandma said, "oh you are still nursing, I think that's wonderful" now because I thought she would have any issue with it but because I just hear all these sad stories of unsupportive families and I am happy that even though she was not able to breastfeed that she is cheering me on. My cousins wife is breastfeeding her 9 month old son and it was nice to be able to chat about it. I am so looking forward to many more months of nursing Claire and hope that if any of my friends are pregnant or just want to chat about it that they'll come to me, its easy to forget how hard it was at the beginning and when I look back I know that if I didn't have the support I had I might have given up.
Now this section is a little harder for me, I do not feel as happy and positive about it because I am tired and this is tough to balance. I love my job, I love breastfeeding and pumping and I love being a mommy but they can take their toll. I want to workout more, I want to go see the chiro, and I want more hours in the day but that's not really how it works. So right now I am in a little bit of a slump but I think it will pass, this entire month is packed full of fun stuff and hopefully more workouts. When it comes to my after baby body I am not where I want to be, people kept saying "well, it took you 9 months to gain it so itll take at least that long to lose it" well I am inching close to the 9 month mark and I have a funny feeling about how I am going to feel if I haven't hit my goal, I know its silly but I can tell that I am starting to get into a funk towards myself, my body and my progress. Today I am going to start putting Claire in the ergo right when I pick her up from day care and we are going to go on a walk, I need to be more active and I think that might be the best time because once we get home there is so much to do. Ill keep you updated and thanks for reading along with my rant.
xo
Nikol