Babymoon was fantastic, Ryan and I travel so well together and it is such a blessing. Sometimes I have friends come back from vacations and just gripe about their partner or tell me every thing the hotel did wrong and it always makes me so sad. I cherish the times that Ryan and I get to run away for a bit and just be us. No schedules, no real plans and eat to our hearts content. Our hotel was so fun - The Saguaro Palm Springs - I would totally recommend it to someone who wants a trendy hotel with bright colors and really fantastic food. We did a lot of eating, napping, floating in the pool and chatting about what is to come. I am so happy that we made this weekend happen, it was so worth it and also so needed. We ate at Cheeky's, Tinto, El Jefe and Native Foods. All places that we had never been before but were really really tasty and next time we go I know that I will be stopping at a few of them. I wish I had some watermelon fresca right now. [found the recipe, making it asap].
My body has been feeling pretty good still, a few new aches and pains. My feet arches are starting to fall which I guess is called over-pronation, baths and massages have helped a little bit but a few hours into work it was get pretty tough to walk at all. I finally caved and bought some new sandals with arch support I'm not sure why I was so against buying new shoes but I was. I am so thankful that I did it though, it is like walking on pillows. So much better.
Speaking of work, maternity leave is only 3 days away! I cannot believe it. What will I do while I wait for Claire? I guess I plan on deep cleaning, stocking the freezer, finishing organization of her nursery, resting, going to the beach, lunch dates and just enjoying the time off until she arrives. Then once she arrives I am sure it will be a free for all haha, I am so excited to meet her! The other night I had a dream about her and she was Dora the Explorer, lol, it was a weird one!
I have touched on it here and there but my weight gain has been pretty normal and my midwife seems happy that I haven't gone over the amount they recommended for me. That is wonderful, I worked out for as long as I could for as hard as I could and 29 weeks just had to be my stopping point. I just could not do it anymore, I always said I wanted to do boot camp until I went into labor haha but it was not actually a feasible plan. As hard as I worked out and was 'happy' with the weight I was gaining, I sometimes would get into a funk about the changes that I was seeing in my body. Of course I understand I am building a person, I need to make more space in my body for her to live and grow and that I can work it off afterwards, but it could still be tough.
While at the pool last weekend I was feeling pretty good about myself, my bathing suit fit and Claire and I were amped for the pool. I got out of the water and went to lay out and heard a woman tell her friend [loudly enough for me to hear] that she just couldn't tell if I was "just fat" or pregnant. Her friend called her a bitch and I stopped listening. I let that sit in my head for a little bit and didn't get all that upset about it because it seemed like a silly thing to wonder, I am very obviously pregnant.
I sat there a little longer and tried to not let it get to me and then she loudly told her other girlfriend about how hilarious that she thought it was that she just COULDN'T tell. Now I will be honest, I have thought mean things, I have said mean things and I can look back at those times and see I was being an awful person who was probably feeling down about herself and projected. This girl seemed pretty pleased with herself though. I am still pretty surprised that I bit my tongue but I just wouldn't have even known what to say. If I was not pregnant it would be hurtful, I am pregnant and it is hurtful. There was no way for me to get around having my feelings hurt and it really put a damper on my afternoon.
I guess I have always had times where I felt "not good enough" when it came to my body, a lot of people do. No matter how hard I worked out, how well I ate there was always something for me to pick at. It goes back to elementary school when kids made fun of me for having facial hair, to jr. high when people would call me thunder thighs while I was in gym class and through high school when my 'jiggly' thighs got a few comments. It happens, its shitty, but it happens. The last few years I have tried to work out and eat well not just to be skinny but to be strong and it has really improved how I saw myself and lately it has been a lot harder to be positive all the time but I am still working on it.
I guess I just had to get that out haha thanks for listening.
Instagram photo dump.
I have really enjoyed having you in my belly, being pregnant has been wonderful in so many ways. You have two more weeks before I will say - "Come anytime, love!" you still have some more developing to do. We had a few friends play along and try to guess your Birth Date in a poll that I posted :)
well I love you and we have another midwife appointment next week, can't wait to hear your little heart