Watching other parents with their children it is so easy to compare yourself and I have fallen in to that trap. Watching Hailey crawl and stand and play with big girl toys left me wondering is Claire developing on the right timetable? I have not been one to get into those charts and graphs because I know myself and I knew that it would not be positive so I have stayed away and I know that Claire is doing just fine, she is happy and healthy and what more could I ask for from her. The answer is nothing, but there is so much more I feel like I could ask for from myself.
Ryan teaches while he plays and I just play, I never think to repeat the color and the shapes or keep repeating myself so that she will eventually grasp what I am saying and then say it back to me. The only thing I make sure to say over and over again is ma ma and that just seems selfish now. I want to also teach her about words and colors and the alphabet but when I am with her I forget about it all. Ryan speaks to her more in Spanish than I do RYAN DOES NOT EVEN REALLY SPEAK SPANISH - I am failing.
That phrase has been running through my mind the last few days and it is not fun. I brought it up to Ryan though and he really helped.
I need to be more gentle on myself.
I will start to also sing her the ABCs and start to talk with her more about colors and shapes, I will teach her things in our own way and I will be more gentle on myself.